Updated: Oct 31
EDUCATE YOUR DAUGHTERS BEFORE THE ABUSE HAPPENS.
Narcissism, blame shifting, empathy, passive aggressiveness, co -dependency, overly sensitive people, gas lighting, manipulation. All words that are used in the world of toxic relationships.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.
The Her Version platform was built from the realization that even now, there still is not enough information on this subject. In an effort to continue to educate our women, Her Version is dedicating October to teaching and educating women on this subject.
The numbers are still here. 1 out of every 3 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. According to a CDC survey, 20 Americans experience intimate partner physical violence every minute. That totals around 10 million victims per year.
I WILL CONTINUE TO REPEAT MYSELF ON THIS MATTER BECAUSE, I WAS BEING ABUSED, AND DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE IT UNTIL 8 YEARS INTO MY RELATIONSHIP.
I am starting this month with 5 subtle ways that abuse happens in our homes, if you are someone or know someone who is dealing with abuse tactics like this, it is your responsibility to screenshoot this post and send to that person and/or seek help.
The Her Version Website is now equipped with an ever growing HELP RESOURCES tab where you can reach out to organizations and groups that specialize in this sort of situation.
5 EARLY RED FLAGS - DETECTING ABUSE IN A RELATIONSHIP
Is your partner controlling what you wear or who you see?
This tactic usually increases in severity and volume as time goes on. It starts with trying to control what your wear, who you were with to needing pictures/receipts to prove where you went.
Jealously - no tangible reason
It’s not uncommon for abusers to accuse their partners of cheating, or of inappropriate behavior, when there has been no such evidence. Being overly concerned about who you talk to, or who is looking at you is a HUGE red flag. If you’ve given them no reason to feel jealous or paranoid, yet it’s a source of arguments, it isn’t something to brush off. Granted this tactic is many times overlooked because it is seen as flattery, ‘they just love me so much’, however, it can soon turn toxic and be another way of trying to exercise control over you.
Doubting your recollection of events
Gaslighting is a relatively new phase but it’s been happening in abusive relationships for a long time. It’s a form of manipulation, where the abuser makes the victim question their judgement or their version of reality. Gaslighting makes the victim start to wonder if they’re losing their sanity and seeing things that aren’t happening. You will here them say phrases like, “I never said that” (when you know they did) or, “You’re remembering it wrong”
Persuading you to spend all of your time with them
Sometimes in the guise of being infatuated or in love and wanting you to spend all your time together, another worrying sign is if someone gets upset if you spend time with friends or peruse interests outside of the relationship. This starts out cute, but is a sure sign that isolation is right around the corner. Abusers LOVE cutting women off from their friends, family and support networks. Cutting women off from the outside world makes it harder for them to flee, they want you to be wholly reliant on them and have no one else to turn to.
They can’t argue in a healthy way
Many times partners will minimize arguments by saying their partner is passionate or fiery. However, if your partner can’t have a minor disagreement or discussion without flying off the handle, putting you down or becoming aggressive, then it could be something to worry about. You should never be made to feel afraid of your partner – even slightly.