He Hates My Yoga Pants
Updated: Jun 11
I LOVE MY YOGA PANTS!!!!!
How much do I love my yoga pants? Well, if I were a multi platinum gold award-winning number one amazing hit all-star singer, I would use my talents to not only write super lame ass love songs with catchy lyrics that get stuck in your head like my dear friend Taylor Swift, I would also use my amazing talent to write songs about my yoga pants. Yes, you heard me correctly. They would be number one hits, because every girl in America LOVES yoga pants! And every boy in America loves a GIRL in yoga pants. Damn straight.
What’s not to love? They are comfortable. They are forgiving in all the right places. You can comfortably sleep in them, which means you can wake up…get on with your day and then go to sleep and never EVER change your clothes. Now obviously I have never done that, because that would be gross. But if I wanted to do that, you know, well I could, if I really wanted to. The option would be there, but I haven’t actually done it. Just thought about doing it…once.
With that being said, I have come to realize that for every girl who fucking loves her yoga pants, there is a boyfriend/fiance/husband that equally hates yoga pants with the same amount of passion. An example of that guy is my fiance. Now, I’m not going to say he is nearly as bad as he use to be, but he still can not help but let out a sigh of disappointment every time he sees me leaving the house with them on. My question is, why? What exactly is the big deal? I’m hoping you guys do realize that it does not matter if we are wearing yoga pants, jeans, shorts, baggy pajamas with our hair up in a messy bun, a dress, or a bikini… those of us that are half way decent looking (I use that term very loosely) we are getting hit on, no matter what. The one thing I will never understand is the fact that everything is completely fine if we show up wearing a cute little bikini with our breasts and asses hanging out for the entire world to see at the beach…but the moment we walk out of the house with yoga pants that cover us from our waist to the ground and a cute t-shirt then all of a sudden we are ‘flaunting our asses’ too much. Now this may seem as if I am having a bit of a personal rant, but I promise you I have heard from multiple guys and their women this same argument. I don’t get it, but I do know, I would like to be left alone. Quit bothering me and my yoga pants.
Now as much as I am in love with my yoga pants, I believe my beloved yoga pants may be breaking up with me very soon. Today, I discovered a hole, yes a hole. In my yoga pants. Now, not just a little seam tear on the side thigh that is easily fixable. This was a thumb or two sized hole right in the center of my ass. Right there, for the entire world to see. Right there, as a BIG FAT warning that my ass is indeed getting a bit out of control. And to make everything that much more fun, I discovered this hole while trying to itch my ass…yes…itch. Good Grief!!! I NEED A CLASS in classy-ness. For this entire year my jeans and shorts have been super mean to me, forcing me suck in my gut while trying to get that top button snapped, which then accentuates my love handles even more than necessary. Meanwhile, my yoga pants just slip right up, hugging all my new bulges. I Fucking Love My Yoga Pants.
I am hoping that all my yoga pants are not giving up on me so quickly, I am hanging on by a thread (pun intended) until I get my act in gear.
Speaking of acts in gear. I stood on this scale again today…My weight loss story is barely existent. But I’m refusing to give up.
It is a slow start, yet again. HOLY COW! Barely a pound lost. If you look closely the stupid scale wouldn’t even give me a full pound…it is just shy of a pound, as if the scale is smirking at the fact that I am just failing terribly at this game. But either way, I’m still on a roll. NOT giving up.
I am trying to stick to my promise of being in bed by 1am and not eating past 11pm. Tonight, it looks as if I am already breaking that rule, because the clock reads 10:47pm and I just opened a gorgeous container of freshly cut watermelon, and I don’t think I am going to finish it all in the next 13 minutes. I did miss three days of working out this week. But I am doing fairly well with my eating healthy and trying to stay on track. How is your progress going, you little snicker eating rascal?!?! Ps. Don’t forget to like, share, comment and subscribe! I am trying to get to 3,500 readers by the end of the year!! You guys are the best, thanks so much for all the support!
Lots of Love – Sabrina Victoria
Awesome things you may have missed on my other social media outlets:
If you would have told me 4 years ago that my blog would someday be read by people all over the world and 3,272 people would actually find me so amusing that they would sign up to get my updates emailed to their email every week I probably would have laughed. But here we are. The map below is the amount of people who viewed my blog today and what country they are in, this makes me so happy! Click the map to see my very first blog post written 4 years ago!!
A few things I found amusing, that you probably don’t give two shits about, but you’re sitting on the toilet while reading this so you might as well check them out:
One of my newest favorites from Taylor Swift:
Choose to be awesome today. Even if everyone else sucks.
Do something awesome today.
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