My Real Imperfect Bio
I feel like I should just write a list. Like a 1, 2, 3…that might be faster and more time efficient. And then I wouldn’t have this awkward feeling of having to include a bunch of personal things that come along with story telling.
1. I have an 11-year-old son who is my everything.
2. I consider myself a Self Starter.
3. I like to think I am good at multitasking.
4. I am the Best Secret Keeper on this side of the Mississippi.
5. I make up words as I go.
6. I over use “quotes” and “…” (all the cool people do that). And while I’m at it…I might as well add that I have no idea how to use half the punctuations that are available to us in the english language. So don’t be surprised if you see random , : ; – ” in obscure places. Just go with the flow. Please.
7. I have never stopped dreaming.
8. Regardless of the fact that I am from the Mexican heritage, I speak English. English Only. Yeah. I know, you don’t have to say it….
I was at the park this afternoon with my son, he had soccer practice. I have been trying to get back into the habit of walking/jogging laps around the field while he plays, in order to get a bit of cardio in. I don’t know what it is about me, but I always feel this need to multitask. I am obsessed with finding interesting ways to take care of more than one thing at once. (I am not sure why I felt the urge to elaborate on just that one point and not the others…but there it is. Deal. Maybe it’s my cheesy way of trying to convince you that I really am working out…by ‘throwing’ it in there very inconspicuously.) What the heck do I know? Maybe that comment made you think about your life on a deeper level and starting tomorrow you won’t be that lazy fatty on the side lines eating nasty stale concession food yelling out ‘Good Kick!’… while your child burns off 500 calories in the Florida heat. Yep. I’m changing people’s lives one lame ego driven sentence at a time. What have you done lately?
I am procrastinating, incase you had not noticed. I have had a hard time writing my bio page this year. Which is why it is April and I have still not posted it. It has been a roller coaster the last 8 months. This is where I throw in the cliché, ‘They say when it rains it pours.”…screw that…I say, ‘Where hell the is Noah’s Ark when you need it?’ There really is no real need to go into a LONG boring explanation, you know life just as well as I do, it can get rather tricky at times. My motto since the day I gave birth to my son, has been, ‘Everything will ALWAYS be ok.’ Having a child out-of-wedlock at the ripe age of 21 and fending for myself for years, I have become an incredibly strong women, and I have become so confident in my abilities, that I do not worry much.
Today, I had to ask my son how old I was, I can’t believe time.
I have no idea what that means…or if it is supposed to mean anything. But I can tell you one thing, thirties really are awesome. I don’t really know what I mean by awesome.
I just feel as if I have a better sense of who I am. It is crazy the jolt in self-confidence and self-esteem I have adopted. The voice I have created. The constant yes ma’ams fumbling from young guy-mouths, to address me, makes me smile with glee. I don’t know what it is, maybe I am dressing differently or standing taller…but either way…the world looks and treats me differently than before. In a good way.
And these are things that make me throw my hands up and do a thrusting motion with my Shakira-wanna-be hips and yell out, ‘Here Comes the Boom!’
Side Note: Since before I can remember I have always viewed myself as strong, even though I was rather shy and timid growing up. I knew I had a spark that could set an entire house on fire. It took me years to develop into the lady I am today. I describe myself as slighty refined with a little bit of sass mixed in (sass is just a classy way of saying sometimes I swear like a truck driver…sometimes). I hold myself with poise, but still have a hippie flower dress side to me. I am filled with love and affection and with that I have a tendency to touch people when I speak and don’t be surprised if I lean in for a hug after meeting you just once. I love getting in people’s personal space and feel comfortable asking questions that probably shouldn’t be asked. I love people, and love to see them light up when they talk about themselves and their passions. I am naturally a lover…but that doesn’t mean I am not a fighter. Adopting nicknames like The Crazy Mexican and Spicy, I do have a feisty side. Not going to lie.
And then there’s this…
Besides the obvious things that come along with the ‘thirties’. As if gray hairs popping up everywhere wasn’t enough. I have discovered the great gift of beard hairs (try saying that 10 times fast) growing out of my chinny chin chin (ladies don’t sit there in disgust…if they haven’t popped up yet…they are coming for you, trust me). Plus, let’s not forget the complete and utter dislike of shaving (I mean come on now…I have been doing this shit since the 6th grade…it’s getting OLD really fast). To add to all the other fantastic things going on in my life, I am here to announce that I officially have cellulite on my ass. YES. You heard it straight from the horses mouth…or as I like to refer to myself…the Lioness’s mouth.
Back in August of 2014 I completely let myself go, and when I say let myself go, I mean YIKES WOMEN what the hell happened to your face?
You know those friends you feel comfortable enough to make little side comments to about gaining a bit of weight?
They always say the same thing, ‘You look fine, you look the same, I can’t even notice the extra 15 lbs.’
Or they do that annoying things where they repeat your sentence in the form of a question… ‘You gained weight? What? Stop!’
THEN you take a picture with said friend(s) and they give this overly zealous yet slightly pathetic, ‘Oohhh you look so pretty!!!’ comment.
But deep down in the context of the word pretty you hear them say, ‘Whoa…yeah…your face got super fat girl, you better stop eating….food…in general. I mean maybe ice…you can eat ice. That’s food. Right?’
So I have all that going for me, which is basically a great big bowl of awesomeness (drenched in sarcasm). Well, hey the one good thing about being a little off track, is the fun part of getting back on…the journey is the best part! AND as an added bonus you internet peeps get to see super sexy pictures of my fat ass and newly found muffin top, who doesn’t like to point and laugh at other people’s failures? Besides laughing at my hairy chin and dimple ass might be just the thing to keep you going, Dr. OZ always says laughter is the best medicine. And we all know, whatever Dr. OZ says…is #truth.
And lastly, I have issues.
I have heart-break.
I have tears.
Just like anyone else.
I am as imperfect as they come.
And that my friend, is real.